On Marriage
I have noticed a recurring trend in my buwsiness and political life. That trend is I can gauge the caliber of a man by who he hires.
The quality of a man can be seen by those he surrounds himself with. Whoever you associate with influences the direction you gravitate toward.
An easy example is Trump. He was a bombastic figure who many thought was playing 4D political chess (implying high intelligence). But his choice of appointments and advisors was incredibly foolish. While he spoke convincingly, his dead giveaway of his true caliber was this inability to consistently recruit good (or even just decent) hirelings. Along with his inability to gauge the true motives and abilities of those people.
This pattern recognition applies in more than just the political world, but also to things such as:
- Who a person hires as his friends
- Who a person hires as his colleagues (work choice and employer)
- Who a person hires as his spiritual community
- And so on.
But most importantly, this applies to who he “hires” as his wife.
The most important decision a man makes is who he marries.
Your spouse—or lack of one—can make or break a man.
In fact, this likely applies to both genders. But my focus in this article is on the male side.
Nothing else comes close. Not where you go to high school, or what college degree you choose, or your career choices, or where you live, or your hobbies. All of these are rather easily trumped by who you marry.
There used to be a popular saying that has fell into disuse because of feminism. That saying is a version of this: “A woman has the purest vote for her husband. She is the sole voter and gets to have a 100% say in the election for her husband. But, she is voting for her emperor. He becomes the head after, and no further votes occur. It’s the only vote she gets. So make it count, ladies.”
There should be a saying for men that is similar, and goes something like this: “The man also has a 100% vote in the election for his wife. But, he is voting for his highest, most trusted advisor. She becomes this chief, and no further votes occur. It’s the only vote he gets. Make it count, gents.”
I think of it like this: The woman elects her king. The man elects his noble class.
There is no higher honor for both groups. A king cannot promote anyone higher, and neither can the nobles.
People rarely know the history, but a monarchy was modelled after a successful marriage:
- God -> King -> Priests/Nobility -> The People
- God -> Husband -> Wife -> Children
When the two groups get along in a kingdom, the king pays respect, provides for, and honors the nobility. The nobility help direct, advise, and comfort the king. Both groups function to the betterment of the whole. God blesses all when this occurs.
I believe if more men thought about their partner in this light, marriages would be better and men would pick better women for that role.
And I also believe a lot fewer men would fall for the MGTOW psyop, which is forfeiting the kingdom entirely.
You are selecting your noble class. What is more important than this?
The nobles can advise you day and night, or they can leave you alone to make crucial decisions with manipulated information. They can overthrow you, or they can make you more secure than any other kingdom in history.
If you were a king would you select this class based on feelings or in haste? Or would you do so slowly and cautiously?
Anyone who has studied history understands how important that high-level noble class is. It makes or breaks kingdoms. Just like how a wife makes or breaks the household kingdom.
Not every noble class is situated for every king. You need one specifically geared toward who you are and the areas you are weak in. It takes time to find this fit.
My main point here is this: Do not accept lower than what you need for your situation. Wait for the right one. Seek methodically but cunningly.
This is the most important decision you will make. So choose wisely.
Because of the importance of this choice, one should not discredit the work that is required after the decision is made.
Do not stop trying or putting in effort after marriage. This is why the divorce rate is so high; so many modern people expect the journey to end as soon as they get married.
This is completely backwards. The odyssey has just begun.
The real work and fun starts immediately after. But what awesome work it is, if you are ready and desiring of it.
I know many religious types and even some dissidents tell others to get married young and stay married, but I am a contrarian on this point.
Definitely stay married if you are, but be cautious in marrying young. It’s not always bad, but it’s not always the best idea, either.
I waited a long time for marriage (far past what most redpillers and Christians recommend), because I would not settle.
I was rewarded for this, and I believe you would be, too.
With my partner, I did not seek looks, but God graciously provided them, anyway. I did not seek worldly things, but I’ve been blessed with much to be thankful for. Further, I did not seek perfection, but God gave me the closest thing to it, in my opinion. She is the perfect nobility I could ask for.
And the craziest part? I did not find her. She found me. I had all but given up hope on finding one, and that is exactly when my future wife entered my life. God likes to be interesting like that, to always keep you on your toes.
What I did seek was a woman that respected God. I sought after a woman that was honorable and cared about morals. Perhaps most importantly, I sought one that would openly tell me she wanted to be a good wife.
That last phrase is important, so I will repeat it: seek a woman that wants to be a good wife.
These do not count:
- A good mom. You have a mom; you don’t need another one.
- A good cleaner or homemaker. You can hire a maid, you don’t need one of those either.
- A good lay. A prostitute would be cheaper, but you don’t need that either.
All of these are nice additions, but they are not what you need.
You need a wife. A good wife.
A good mom or homemaker is not always a good wife. This gets lost in today’s day and age where women are so bad, men take what they can get. But this is still true: A mom can be great to her kids but horrible as a helper to her husband.
A wise king does not select his noble class based on one or a few material qualifications. The wise king chooses his nobility based on the inclination of their heart. Their desire to do well in their role.
Men should do the same in picking their wives.
I waited. My approach was methodical, calculating, and again—patient. I was rewarded for this patience.
As far as for “settling”, my answer is simple: Don’t.
This does not mean seek perfection in a wife, but it does mean to understand how the game works. When I speak to younger men, I often relate it to a marathon analogy:
- Each woman is in a marathon to be a good wife. If you want a good wife, you want one that can finish the marathon.
So, what do you do? Do you go seek a woman toward the start of the marathon, or toward the end to find one?
If you go toward the end of the marathon, you’ll see many women that are nearing the finish line. Maybe you’ll even get lucky and find one that is already done with the race, but those types are rare.
Most good women are close to the end, but they have a little way to go. Those are the women you should seek. They are the women that just need a little encouragement to reach their potential, to truly be an amazing wife and companion.
Maybe they’ve been corrupted by some aspect of the world that is dragging them down from finishing. You can meet them toward the end and release that burden to help them cross the finish line.
Compare this to women who flat out refuse to start the race (feminists). Why would you even consider them?
What about other anti-God, world-loving women (Spoiled women; greedy women; disrespectful women; “Men should do everything for me” women) that seem like they are starting the marathon but are spiritually akin to a 500 lb walrus-lard woman? No matter the level of encouragement you provide them, they still will not be able to finish the race. They would die first of exertion or diabetes.
So your goal is to find a woman that is both 1) nearing the end of the marathon and 2) who wants to finish the marathon. These are the gems, and the women that become the envy of all the men who did not pick as wisely.
These are the ones that the Bible talks about in Proverbs 31:10:
NASB: An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
NKJV: Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
[Data note: Partner drops off at the end solely due to the death of spouse.]
You want to know why all those manosphere types are so jaded and angry? Because the majority of them married whores, or for looks, or without God, or they themselves were failures as being a true head of their household. This is a harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless. They are the men that hired the physically good-looking but spiritually lard-whales at the beginning of the marathon, that immediately turned around and quit the race right after.
And let’s be honest, most of them made the most crucial and obvious mistake. They hired a feminist as their wife. Even knowing this:
One of the most obvious ways to avoid the worst of the worst is to recognize trends. The most glaringly obvious is the feminist and leftist trend. Avoid them and your chances of making the right choice are far higher.
A few men may be casualties even if they did everything right, but they are the exception, not the rule.
Additionally, read the Bible. Know what it says regarding marriage and divorce. If everyone followed it, we would have no marital issues at all.
This is a good place to start, as it covers my essential three [Ephesians 5:22–27 (on the foundations for both genders); 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 (on sex and temptation); Genesis 2:23–24 (on leaving the father/mother)].
But tossing in Malachi 2 and some other places is helpful as well. Most Christian resources have lists for such research, so I won’t go into them here.
Toss in some secular sources too. Read some books on how to be a good father and husband (I recommend the book The Intentional Father and Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s books to start).
Do not neglect your duties as husband, and make sure to learn how to fulfill them appropriately before, during, and throughout your marriage. That will ensure your choice of partner will be as effective as she can be in fulfilling her role, which is literally designed to help you.
The more you learn and put into practice, the better the reward you receive. How much time do you spend learning or working to better yourself? Well, your spouse is part of you, so make sure to put in the equitable amount of work in that area as well.
To summarize:
- The most important decision a man makes is who he chooses for his wife.
- Do not take his decision lightly and do not settle.
- Be patient and cunning in your search. God will provide when the time is right.
- Don’t marry a feminist.
- Don’t fall for the MGTOW psyop.
- Spend plenty of time studying scripture and secular sources to learn about how you are to fulfill your role as husband and king of your household correctly.
- Recognize that marriage is the start of the journey, not the end.
I hope this helps those still seeking, and serves to edify those who have found.
Read Next: Don’t Worry, The Science Says Morality Is Not Declining
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